I had a very peculiar dream just now. It was a very frightening dream, not because I was dying, Not because there were monsters and demons, Not because I was falling,...It was because I was with my friends girlfriend. And I know you don't really have control over your dreams, but if you tell a friend you had a dream about his girlfriend, hes going to concave your face with his fist.

And so there we were. I was with one of my best friends(but not the boyfriend of the girl), "The Girlfriend", and me. We were watching a big something, like a drive in movie or maybe the stars, or maybe a giant tv stuck on a channel that wouldn't come in (This was one of the details erased apon waking), but we were all layed out on a huge comfy blanket. "The Girlfriend" and I were laying pretty close and I wasn't paying perticularly close attention to this detail until she said, "Well you're laying pretty close arent you?". So I moved, not so far as to give the impression that "HEY YOU'RE NOT SOMEONE I WOULD CONSCIOUSLY GET THAT CLOSE TO, YOU FUCKING WHORE"...more of a "Is this better?" distance. She just smiled after this and said. "But its ok, because we're that kind of friends"; which, now reflecting on this, was implying that we had some sort of special friendship, something she just didnt share with anyone. During the dream I was thinking "I'm glad we're the kind of friends that can be close and not have to worry about anything happening", but as soon as this thought passed through my mind I felt a horrible pain in my stomach. It's a pretty familiar pain...its guilt and I shouldn't be having this feeling...I mean I havent done anything wrong. I know what it is though. It was her smile. That was sort of the last nail in the coffin, so to speak. I was in love.

I think I should make a note of it that "one of my best friends", as forementioned, doesn't really do anything in this dream. He was just always in the background or the foreground. Wearing his favourite green flannel. I know its his favourite, because he made a big fucking deal about it after he leant the green flannel out. Then he expected me to get it back for him. I think subconciously this got to me, because I didn't feel it was my job to get a shirt I didn't give a two fucks about. Honestly man... fuck. I'm pretty sure thats the only reason for his guest appearance in my dream...I just thought you should know that and this seemed like a pretty good time to explain.

As if I was trying to escape the feeling and the situation, I went with the trite and true "I'm going to go get something to drink". I probably should of mentioned that we're in the middle of fucking nowhere. I look around and see nothing but sickly looking evergreens stretched thin and high like anorexic jolly green giants. So I just walk blindly into a random direction and lucky for me, on the otherside of the anorexic evergreens, there's a gas station right next to the middle of fucking nowhere. This gas station; which had dim lighting, the kind of lighting that seemed to suck your life away, was ran buy two big native americans and stagnant air that seemed to suffocate you. These indians stood in silence with grimmace looks on their faces as I searched diligently for something to quench my guilt. Unfortunately all I found was a minifridge full of overpriced two liters. All of them were already opened and had been clearly drank out of. The thought of even drinking of them was intensifying the pain in my stomach, so I left unfulfilled.


I was hoping the fresh air would make me feel better, but then I saw her comming out of nowhere with the big something we were previously watching outlining her silhouette; and I never saw anything so beautiful; and she took the breath away that was suppose to make me feel better. We sort of met half way between us and before either of us could say anything the seemingly clear and perfect night sky ripped open and it began raining. We ran back to the gas station that had almost killed me with its mere pressence, but this time was different. The Native Americans( which I now realise were two homeless guys I met in real life) had a much more chipper expression on their face and they were pulling out bottles of unnamed alchohol and shot glasses offering us drinks. I remember mouths moving, but I don't remember anything actually being said, just an overall jovial feeling that embraced everything. The air seemed fresher and the lighting seemed perfect. Even though it was still raining we decided to leave and the Indians waved goodbye and nowhere found us again. Soaking wet, holding hands, we looked at each other and laughed. Things got quiet and her gripped tightened on my hand as she bit her lip. I saw the impending doom of the moment I eagerly awaited. I kissed her.


And like a god damn movie, music started playing quietly as the image of us zoomed out and left the viewer with a grand picture of us kissing in the rain as the anorexic evergreens reached for the heavens and the big something we were previously watching outlined everything. I knew we'd have to forget this all happened the next day and thats when, inside my dream, a dream I had before came to mind. I was at a lively party in a nice house and it was just me and literally the girl of my dreams sitting in an abandoned room. It was towards the end of our conversation, she was crying telling me how much she loved me, but how when she goes back out there she going to have to hate me. As if I'm not worth expressing love for publically. She wiped her tears and leaves the room and I follow shortly afterwards. She turns back and looks at me and I sorta just want to give her a hug. That did not go so well, as I went to give her a hug she pushed me away and turned her head saying, "Pretty princess my ass!."(That doesn't make sense to me). Anways she walks away and I'm seeing myself in the third person with a happp/sad pathetic smile. I think I just have a hard-on for love I can't have. The music picks back up. Its even a song I know Quiet Little Voices by We Were Promised Jetpacks. And I swear to fucking god, like 99% sure, that I if I hadn't have woken up right then and there, Credits would of started rolling.

Well there you have it my weird dream I felt the need to write about. I think what depresses me most is that I'd have such a cliche movie-esk themed dream. I just hope the friend doesn't somehow find this and ask me about it, because I'm pretty sure I'm stupid enough to answer honestly.

fuck.